Greetings from Rockport, Texas. It is a sunny day, and the seagulls are singing to me along side some beachbum tracks I put together to make me feel like I’m still in Hawaii. Though it is not my beautiful home of Hawaii, it still has a charm that allows me to get in my blogging mode once again. So here we go, today’s topic is… vulnerability.
Hiding has been a game our society mastered since teenage years set in. Make up covers sleepless nights, laugh lines, pores, and dare I say the word moles. Clothes have a calculated way of draping to maximize breast size, yet camouflage stomachs. Smiles do a great job of masking any insecurity and covering any form of worry or sadness lingering in our minds. and don’t even get me started our “facebookself” being the most untrue portrayal into our less than perfect lives.
Internet has become a way to strip away reality and leave only glorified pieces of flawed individuals. This has filtered into how we interact on a daily basis, leaving conversations to lose their depth to satisfy the entertainment-based expectation.
We are beginning to lose the value in vulnerability,. We are covering our humanity in blankets of insincere smiles and photoshopped profile pictures.
Upon starting this page, I often found myself fearing people would judge my thoughts, my religion, my photographs, and especially my faulty grammar. I calculated my words for the audiences I expected to be reading and edited out any swear words that made it into the first draft, because I wanted people to think I was mature, and incapable of vulgarity or a pessimistic view. I wanted my followers to see my travels, and my insights but I didn’t want them to know how many tears were spent behind my keyboard, nor allow my plentiful mistakes, potty-mouth (as my mother likes to call it) or insecurities surface through my words. This blog while being an outlet had as well become a way for me to hide behind a façade of photographs and entries that withheld faces and stories I was too afraid to share.
Within the past year, I have received countless messages from people in regards to my entries relating to their lives. The posts they referred to are the few I showed more than a sliver of honesty and light onto my humanity; including my fears, excitements, disappointments, loneliness, and aspirations. They too understood the echoing of loneliness that often enters this page and my dreams and passions that are not singular to me. Their ability to relate inspired me to completely cut the bullshit.
I am not perfect. I’m sure if you’ve been reading for a while this statement is awfully apparent. Though I no longer strive for unachievable perfection, I do strive to improve myself, but no longer is that for the purpose of pleasing others. So why should I try and flaunt shallow greatness to you all when in reality, I am like all of you, beautifully flawed and feel every emotion we all have had but seldom verbalize.
If I can be completely honest behind a keyboard and feel invigorated, what would happen if I were to be completely honest in my relationships and daily interactions?
Would I find.. maybe, just maybe, we aren’t all that different. Maybe we aren’t alone in our fears, our insecurities our flaws even if facebook says otherwise. And maybe sharing our humanity will make it easier to empathize, enable us to draw together, and relieve some of the suffocating pressure to be perfect.
Just some thoughts, and lots of maybes…