Well-behaved Part II

kat

In response to my former post, Well-behaved, (read it first or this will make as much sense as my liberal approach to comma usage) the matter is settled. I can finish.

Some parts of me are different but not bad, unique but not wrong, strange but not a sin. In the pursuit of self-improvement and self-mastery, I no longer see the need to entangle those defining traits with the purging of my mistakes and worst character flaws.

My grandpa (and half of twitter) quote, “well-behaved women seldom make history.”

Though, I may not be aiming to make it on NPR, or to arise a cause for rebellion, I see some truth to that statement in regards to what I wish to say I have done with this life.

In my core, I just want to be who my Heavenly Father intends me to be. However, for a long time – first half of my mission – I was lost as to who that was.

I have come to see that God put passion, dreams and creativity in my soul just as he put life. He intends for me to use it, cultivate it, yet bridle it in such a way that it can make the best impact for good.

I am still trying to figure out how to do that, I think I’ll spend the rest of my existence figuring it out..              but in the meantime I might as well write a poem about it…

Unorganized Matter

Call me foolish, call me vain
Call me irrational, call me insane
But never, however, say
I don’t have it in me to do something great

I maybe a silly woman
a walking billboard of unorganized matter
being tossed by righteous plights,
romantic gestures and unseen travel destinations

To their fine-tune eyes they may conclude
a need for me to “join reality”
but engraven in the very faults they wish me to change
are the precious parts of me that resurface into beauty;

a foolish, but passionate woman
crazy enough to love the world
regardless of it supplying many sources
telling her to grow up and let go of her
unrealistic dreams

Siostra Bak tag

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One thought on “Well-behaved Part II

  1. It seems to me, that a great many people spend all of their talents and abilities in pursuit of the “Normal” life, but that Normal-Life is actually their own Desire. Call me Crazy, but maybe all of that passion, and that restless spirit of yours, is intended for the BiggerPicture. Can’t a G-d create the Unique, the Pioneers, the Ramblers? What some might suggest is a selfish, immature, whisp of a Dream, might in fact be precisely the selfless, Holy, spark of Divinity you’re meant to embody. Whose vision for You and your Life is that Wild one? Consider, without assuming, that maybe you’re just a little fanciful. Consider, without assuming, that maybe your calling IS that Wild one. Being “well-behaved” is not the same as being disciplined. Joan of Arc would fit the bill of not being well-behaved, perhaps, but when answering to higher callings, the masses with the lower line of sight will often cry “foul!”

    Trust your struggle. The Creation is Good; embrace that passion, that spark, that fire.
    Just because others may not understand how to use it, doesn’t mean it isn’t supposed to be there. Rejoice AND Be Glad! Ayo!

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