In response to my former post, Well-behaved, (read it first or this will make as much sense as my liberal approach to comma usage) the matter is settled. I can finish.
Some parts of me are different but not bad, unique but not wrong, strange but not a sin. In the pursuit of self-improvement and self-mastery, I no longer see the need to entangle those defining traits with the purging of my mistakes and worst character flaws.
My grandpa (and half of twitter) quote, “well-behaved women seldom make history.”
Though, I may not be aiming to make it on NPR, or to arise a cause for rebellion, I see some truth to that statement in regards to what I wish to say I have done with this life.
In my core, I just want to be who my Heavenly Father intends me to be. However, for a long time – first half of my mission – I was lost as to who that was.
I have come to see that God put passion, dreams and creativity in my soul just as he put life. He intends for me to use it, cultivate it, yet bridle it in such a way that it can make the best impact for good.
I am still trying to figure out how to do that, I think I’ll spend the rest of my existence figuring it out.. but in the meantime I might as well write a poem about it…
Call me foolish, call me vain Call me irrational, call me insane But never, however, say I don’t have it in me to do something great I maybe a silly woman a walking billboard of unorganized matter being tossed by righteous plights, romantic gestures and unseen travel destinations To their fine-tune eyes they may conclude a need for me to “join reality” but engraven in the very faults they wish me to change are the precious parts of me that resurface into beauty; a foolish, but passionate woman crazy enough to love the world regardless of it supplying many sources telling her to grow up and let go of her unrealistic dreams