I haven’t really stopped entertaining the idea of him reappearing. Every other aspect of my life has moved on when enough stuttering breathes passed through with each unwanted sunrise. As much as I hated the thought of it, time really does heal.
Grief hasn’t permanently prevented me from joy, but it has redefined it. At this point I’ve given up forcing myself to exclude him completely from my mind. I’ll even occasionally let him be with me as I take in the vast sea on my morning runs, “I still love you, you know” I’ll whisper it and let it wash over me only to recede with the tide. I pray somehow the swell will take it past the coral to bring him my stinging confession.
Art by-Courtney Mattison